“Sir, may I relate a story for your consideration, because frankly it baffles me,” I said, taking the initiative to start this latest conversation between me and The Effective Detective.
“Of course, Watson, relate away,” he returned, smiling in an actually friendly way, versus the smile I associated with the hammer coming down on a point he was making.
“I attended a meeting of a group, and the purpose of this meeting was actually recruitment for the group. There were a goodly number of visitors, which made it a worthwhile function in terms of meeting new people, but I was a little shocked by one thing,” I paused for a second, and The Detective jumped in.
“I think I know where this is going, but I’ll be cautious,” The Detective’s smile grew bigger, “so please carry on Watson,”
“None of the members or leaders of this group went out of their way to welcome any of the guests, or engage them! They were nice enough if you yourself stepped up and introduced yourself, but many of them seemed more intent on engaging other members than the guests. This struck me as odd, since the whole purpose of the meeting was to recruit new members, wouldn’t it make sense to engage as many of the guests as possible?” I ended with the question, hoping The Detective would again, jump in.
Obliging me, The Detective took a breath and started to answer, “It would make sense Watson, and it would have helped their cause immensely, but unfortunately you are dealing with humans, and this kind of thing happens all too often. Especially when you have a group hosting guests. The members of the group are of course uncomfortable meeting new people, as are most of the guests, but they have an advantage over their guests. They already know a large percentage of the group. The natural social tendency is to associate with those you know. The guests have no choice, they have volunteered to step into a group where they may not know too many people, so they either retreat to a wall somewhere, or they bravely extend their hand and start engaging.”
“But sir, if the purpose is to build membership…” I floundered a bit, not sure I had made my point.
“Yes, yes Watson, you are absolutely correct. However, assuming this is a volunteer organization, no one is going to ‘lose their job’ for not being forward,” The Detective helpfully answered my partial question. “However, it is hard to go against human nature. The guests are outsiders, I’m sure if they join the organization they will be brought into the fold, but at a meeting like you describe, they are on their turf and want to be comfortable.”
“But sir,” I answered, a thought forming, “wouldn’t the people who went out of their comfort zone and introduced themselves to the guests be way ahead of the game? They would be perceived as the leaders in the group. In terms of business they would be the ones starting strong know, like, and trust relationships whether the person they engaged joined or not.”
“Watson, I see our discussions are having a beneficial effect on you. That was a brilliant observation! Keep that in mind next time a group you are a part of has a recruitment meeting,” The Detective exclaimed. “Shall we continue on with other issues?”
“Lets!” I agreed.
Oh, so true! Even the best groups, with great intentions and a strong start can lapse into the more comfortable habits of talking to the people they know.
It takes a vigilant leader or two to constantly be watching the group for this tendency and to constantly remind them of the best networking practices.
It’s something to be aware of when you consider joining a group. If they have poor networking habits and you have great networking habits, one of two things will happen:
1) They will drag you down to their level, tough to resist when there’s 20 of them and 1 of you
2) You can become their leader and turn it around, but that will be a LOT of work.
Your best option is to find a group with good networking habits!